My Fitbit Called Me A Fat Bitch!

The King’s Arms, Salford; Friday 26th July, 2019

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There’s a Clouooouuud Maaaaan,

waiting in the sky …

Yeah and he has all your photos, text messages, emails, credit card transactions, Likes, Shares, right-swipes – he’s got everything about you; and whether you like it or not he’ll be keeping it forever and ever and ever.

There can’t be too many people in this world who haven’t, at some point, cringed in revulsive horror at the thought of what our virtualised, digital imprints actually say about us. 

What if someone (or something) is out there, looking at all your digital scraps, judging you, sneering at you? What if they actually manage to figure you out – and then decide to tell everyone else?Read More »

Drowning In Silence

Salford Arts Theatre; Wednesday 24th July, 2019

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Things are not the same. Everything changes, and I hate it without you.

Michelle (Emily Cox) and Jane (Libby Hall) are inseparable sisters with just three years between them. Theirs is a happy life of playing in the park, games of hide and seek, dressing up dolls; but as they progress into their teenage years events within the family appear to be driving them apart – and neither seems capable of stopping it.Read More »

Revolt. She Said. Revolt Again.

Joshua Brooks, Manchester; Tuesday 23rd July, 2019

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“I am taking my vagina,” she said.

“I am taking my structured vagina. Yes, that is what I am doing. Taking my vagina.”

A deeply notional and abstract concept? Somewhat hypothetical maybe, perhaps a meta-theatrical allegory? One which requires interpretation by the audience in order to uncover hidden meaning in amongst the muddled context of cultural standards that forcibly drive the suppression of female behaviourisms?

Compared to the rest of the show though, these were lines of relatively lucid clarity.Read More »

Frog

The King’s Arms, Salford; Monday 22nd July, 2019

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A police officer lies dead. Detective Rose Karlan has a chief suspect on the run, the cat-and-mouse chase is intensifying and Karlan knows she’s running out of time: she needs to find him fast, before he further escalates his sociopathic vision to to cleanse the world of what he sees as corruption – no matter what the cost.

But with his whereabouts uncertain Detective Karlan suddenly finds her investigation trapped with only one, last viable avenue open to hunt down the wanted man – through his mother.Read More »

Emergency Door Release

The King’s Arms, Salford; Saturday 20th July, 2019

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Louise is approaching the millennial finish line: the grand old age of thirty.  But hers is no race where completion will see her dumped onto some proverbial scrap heap, Louise seems to have life fully sorted.

She has the look: specifically of a social media influencer – stylish outfit; stylish shades; leather jacket; designer handbag; even a suitcase packed and ready to go on a fancy holiday abroad.Read More »

Jack Cray: The Fittest Guy On The Street

The Empty Space, Salford; Friday 19th July, 2019

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Jack Cray’s set is a right mess. Literally. His Aldi carrier bag doth spill right over: on the floor are dozens of his personal medical letters, and a few random copies of Epilepsy Review magazine.

Either he’s in the middle of a fit right now or we all need to massively raise our awareness of what this mysterious illness can do because he’s sat there, casually lounging on his table, big grin across his face, nibbling away at a bunch of grapes and some desiccated coconut. Just straight, neat desiccated coconut, straight from the pack. He’s eating it.

Literally.Read More »

Danny And The Deep Blue Sea

Hope Aria Academy, Manchester; Thursday 18th July, 2019

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New York City: the Bronx – in a run-down dive bar the most aggressive flirting in the history of the human race is taking place. 

Danny just wants beer and pretzels, he definitely did not come to sit and chat shit to a stranger who doesn’t even know him.

Roberta also wants beer and pretzels, but she’s game for a wind-up and there is no way she’s leaving him in peace.Read More »